everything i ever learned about what true love looked like and did i learned from Alvin & Arva...
when i met them they had been together for 40 years, having married after only knowing each other two months, so the story goes. they knew right away that no one else would ever do.
no one else ever did.
they built a house, made it into a home and raised two kids, 8 grandkids and 10+ great grandchildren with more on the way. they welcomed into the fold all manner of steps, halves, strays, boyfriends, girlfriends, exes, exes news and such into their homes and hearts. there was always room for more and everyone was greeted honest genteel warm friendliness.
as openly charming as they were, they we still very much focused on and delighted with each other. theirs was a love that ran soul deep and shone from within with strength, beauty and grace. they were always formal, courteous and polite, especially with each other – even after 50 years, he still referred to her as his "lady wife" and the way she said "my husband" with reverence let you know that she loved and respected him. rarely did they ever spend a night apart and neither of them slept well, if at all, when they were apart.
they were always doing little things to take care of each other and neither crowed about them or called attention to them. she sat and watched his shows that she didn't care for, he would by large bags of pretzels for her and break off all the salt by hand. she read to him when his eyesight went bad and he took care of her million plants and huge garden to her specs when her mobility decreased, preventing her from doing the gardening she loved. he still tucked her arm in his and put his other hand on hers when they strolled slowly together. he would bend his six-foot plus frame to hear every whisper from her maybe five-four self. they slept in the same bed for almost 52 years and never got tired of each other. i can't remember a cross word between them ever and she told me once that they had made it a policy to never go to bed angry.
when she was in the hospital off and on at the end, he'd refuse to leave her side. even as she lay, brain activity ceased, body shutting down, he refused to unplug the ever-growing number of machines that kept her body functioning in hopes that she'd wake up at any minute. the day the whole family gathered in that cheerful little hospital room and tried to shake the gloom by holding hands, praying and singing hymns while they unhooked her and we watched her body stop was the day that the light went out in his eyes. she was 75, he was 81.
he'd been diagnosed with parkinson's shortly before and had been working hard to fight for his life, mobility and memory. when she was gone he gave up. the first month was bad and we thought he'd snap out of it, but he never did. he ceased to care about life since it was a life without her. two years and two months after she passed, he has finally let go. i hope for their sake that they get to meet again in the Heaven they believed in so strongly. i couldn't imagine anywhere else they'd rather be but by each other's side, holding hands.
i can't say i mourn his passing as he was not happy and the wait was finally, mercifully over for him, but i can say i mourn the passing of a love so pure, sweet and devoted that it inspired all who knew them. never have i felt closer to believing in God than when i was with them. they were a truly exceptional couple and all were blessed that were graced with their friendship.
confessed on Tuesday, Jan. 30, 2007