i am so lucky.

i am so lucky because i have really great friends. Some of them who have not yet made it up here have doubted me, but i would say to all those Thomases, "Shaddup! You are all ungrateful wretches! My own family has just now managed to fight thier way in!" or something equally sweet and me.

let me start at the beginning . . .
Olivia Leigh ~ not only is she the oldest and dearest friend i have but she is also the mistress of her own domain ~ litterally! Liv is so much more than a best friend, she is the complementary other half of my soul. Only she can mend the breaks i am sure will kill me. I met her in 6th grade and there have been some rough spots but i know she will always be right here in my heart.

Russ ~ Now, Russ is so wierd. He is my best friend and he has seen me through some of the toughest periods in my life, but i guess he is a friend you will never let go of even if you probably should. no one understands why i love him, least of all me, but i know i do and he loves me back and we will always accept whatever may come as just part of the journey and count on each other to never judge. We take time off from each other routinely, but make no mistake, if help is needed, nothing could stop either of us from moving mountains to be there.

NaomiBeth ~ Let me see, what could i really say about Nomie that she doesn't say for herself? She is so beautiful and brilliant but she will never see that. She is so very generous with her time and love and thoughts and everything! Nomie is very passionate about so many things and so fascinating and funny in her thought processes that i never tire of talking to her. She is so wonderful and complex!

Lil' Abby ~ My sister's best friend. My sweet little Abs is the one who is most like me and i love her and worry about her equally. i KNOW where i've been. i KNOW i don't want her to ever go some of those routes, but i also know that Abby will always come through just fine as she is a Superguard! And she has really great taste in shoes! You can never go wrong when you are wearing really great shoes . . . B*O*O*B * H*U*G! and "you will be strong, you will be rich in love and you will carry on . . ." MB20

Baby Boy ~ I had to put him here because he was the one who let me sleep right beside him for almost 2 years. He has seen me without makeup, in my PJs, drunk off my ass, cry, sleep, & first thing in the morning after the make-up gnomes have done VERY BAD THINGS to my face! All this time he has been a really great friend (with a bonus round that will never come back around) and one of the most wonderful men i have ever met. i know i can alway talk to him about anything and he will always answer even the dumbest questions. You've gotta love that in a man!

Randy ~ How do you define a really unique man who so totally understands "how it is" but is still so innocently hopeful that somehow it will all work out in his favor . . . he is an amazing hockey player who always entertains and occasionally wins an argument with me, though i will not ever admit it again . . . And here is the only other person i know who can carry on a one-month conversation in song titles alone, even though i won because he used the same one twice, YOU ROCK!

Little Jimmy ~ Ok, HERE YOU ARE! I freakin' love this guy! James is so funny and sweet i am very blessed to have finally earned his trust, respect & friendship. He is an eternal optimist who will prolly always try to save my mortal soul . . . i still maintain that he needs to go fishing and relax ~ listen to the birds sing and the water lap and then tell me that God is not all around you and closer to you now than when you are packed in a big building with a bunch of people.

Mortisha ~ Back in high school, Tish was so odd . . . she hasn't changed a bit! Thanks to her, I learned that yes, there WAS music that didn't fall into the "classic rock" and "country" categories. Thank you so much for D.M., Souxie, T.M.B.G.s, and all the rest! She is such a talented actress and writer, and tons of fun to boot! Did i mention she e-mails herself? It must be "stupidity, i guess." By the way, beware the "dog" songs!

And last but in no way least . . .

Patrick ~ A/K/A "the preacher", or the "Original Pengiun". He is the one who had the dream. He is the one who shared that dream and swept his most loyal friends along with him to follow that dream. Now he has seen the birth, all messy and painful, and is speeding along the way of raising this newborn dream along the path to stardom. i have faith. i KNOW him ~ he will make it. he was one of my best friends in high school and lived down the street from me making friendship so easy. Life made things a bit difficult after our senior year, but i found my way back home to the people who really mattered, so here i am, my sould bared and risking the one thing that kills us all ~ rejection. "You must love me . . ." Evita

i know i haven't put you all in here, but some of you are here already and i must go be a good mom now, so anyone not here yet will be added A.S.A.P, so please forgive what really is not an oversight, mearly exhaustion.


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she said I don't know if I've ever been good enough I'm a little bit rusty and I think my head is caving in and I don't know if I've ever been really loved by a hand that's touched me well I feel like something's gonna give and I'm a little bit angry
well this ain't over no not here not while I still need you around you don't owe me We might change yeah, yeah we just might feel good

(chorus)
I wanna push you around,
well I will, well I will
I wanna push you down,
well I will, well I will
I wanna take you for granted,
I wanna take you for granted
and I will

she said I don't know why you ever would lie to me like I'm a little untrusting when I think that the truth is gonna hurt ya and I don't know why you couldn't just stay with me you couldn't stand to be near me when my face don't seem to want to shine cuz it's a little bit dirty
well don't just stand there, say nice things to me I've been cheated I've been wronged, and you you don't know me, I can't change I won't do anything at all

(chorus)
oh but don't bowl me over
just wait a minute
well it kinda fell apart,
things get so crazy, crazy
don't rush this baby,
don't rush this baby
(chorus)


Push ~ Matchbox 20

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confessed on 2000-10-24