Hey. Have you ever just started writing something and then, when you are done, you are not sure why you wrote it? Or where it came from? In some way it does't matter that, of all the things you've written, it is the ugly little runt. You still love it. It will forever hold a place in the dark corners of your heart. Yeah, i've done that. And then my Mom read it. Ouch! i promise i will put up more stuff. really. i am just not feeling creative enough to put up stuff i've already created. (so WHAT if that sounds funny or stoopid . . . ) it makes sense to me. If you want non-stop action and fun-filled furby love go read Rizzn or Crackbaby (LINKS TO THE LEFT, FILM AT 11) They are goodnes.
NaomiBeth is goodness, too! And i promise you Rizzn, she is NOT a stalker! ; )
And then O.Penguin said, "i won't honk I will just be there" which, to me, sounded quite like a song and he said if it was it would be a Cat Stevens' song.
"AVOO!" to you too, little Bro!
i am getting a cold sore on my lip. YAY-GO-ME! ARRRRGGG! cold sores suck 10' hairy green puss-filled Martian donkey's dicks. and i am not at all fond of them. (the cold sores or the 10' hairy green . . . well, you know the rest.)
"i'm not DEAD, yet!" i dunno. i just wanted to tell you that.
random thought time over, and thank you for your continued support.
Hey, everybody, could you guys jump over to my baby sis's g-book and tell her it will all work out? She broke up with her boy and it is just not easy on her. Has ANYONE EVER had luck with a 4-year LD relationship? She misses him but can't do anything about it and they decided to not be together was the best decision. Even when it kills. So, *B*O*O*B* *H*U*G* too my baby girl! And a cranked up rousing Cake version of "I Will Survive" to you because you hate it but it makes you laugh! Really, i do love you, and yes, you are My Princess, too!
don't forget to mix it up, K?
"You say you'll change the constitution / Well, you know / We all want to change your head / You tell me it's the institution / Well, you know / You better free you mind instead" yeah, The Beatles. OK, in reading all of Rizzn's stuff, and there was a YEAR of it, he had one entry that discussed the masks we all wear to the point of becoming our mask. OK. i understand that. i have done that in the past. i have done that minimally here, but only to protect a few people who i love and the secrets i keep are not my secrets to give. Think of them as 'borrowed' if you must. Some i wish i could tell you and they drive me nuts on the days i want to spill my parts of the story but i can't.
What views do you have on sexuality? I know mine. Men are neeto. Like 'em. i gave them up like i gave up smoking. (and O.Penguin is laughing his ass off right this very moment, reading that line.) Women are bee-yooteefuul! i like them, too, see, and this has left me with a difficult decision, the result of which is that i gave them up like i gave up . . . something i gave up but still like to think about a lot and look at.
This confession stemming from Liv's confession that she finally put in all the pertainent notices and will be moving to Maine to be with her man. See, i love women and never acknowledged it as it was "abhorent" and "wrong", and after being raped, the deepest depression of my life, and the self destruction and promiscurity that followed with it, i LEARNED to love men. Now, sadly, the scales are tipped due to fear, habit, and well, love of orgasm, i guess. By the time i got up the courage to tell my best friend i had been in love with her for 12 years, it was too late. For both of us. She told me she had been in love with me, too. In truth, we still are, but what is love? To us it's the bond that nothing has yet to break. We just couldn't imagine dragging it down to the sexual level when it's so much more than that and sex has always ruined good friendships because it takes 'what is' and warps it to 'what can i get from you?' It has debased most relationships that take it too lightly and jump in to easily. I would willingly die for this woman. There is not a thing you could propose besides hurting an innocent i would not do to save her life. She is life. She is love. She is Liv. i have never felt this way about any other living being. The closest is Roni and, well, the die etc. part would go for her, too.
i have actually involved myself with two women. The first was a huge disaster and i'd discount the whole thing as a really stupid drunken mistake one night but we had been leading up to it for a while. The second was really sweet. She was loving and giving and we both knew from the beginning it wouldn't last and that we loved each other but we were not in love. We were unsure and had had the same questions and trusted no one else enough to try and answer them with. It ended with out pain and with a short conversation, we still see each other on occasion and it's fine. But it made us both see that we are better off with the penguins and we'll leave the squid alone.
So, there you have it, my big secret. The thing i hid behind my mask. Scary to admit, yes. Am i shaking right now, yes. i think i will go take a shower right now and get ready to go out with O.Penguin for some food and good friendship talk.
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Sunny came home to her favorite room
Sunny sat down in the kitchen
she opened a book and a box of tools
Sunny came home with a mission
she says days go by I'm hypnotized
I'm walking on a wire
I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
into the fire
Sunny came home with a list of names
she didn't believe in transcendence
it's time for a few small repairs she said
Sunny came home with a vengeance
she says days go by I don't know why
I'm walking on a wire
I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
into the fire
get the kids and bring a sweater
dry is good and wind is better
count the years, you always knew it
strike a match, go on and do it
days go by I'm hypnotized
I'm walking on a wire
I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
into the fire
light the sky and hold on tight
the world is burning down
she's out there on her own and she's alright
Sunny came home
Sunny came home ...
"Sunny" ~ by Sean Colvin
confessed on 2000-12-01