This has been an extreamly boring and lazy day. just so you know. Roni & i woke up really late and just laid around for a while, snuggling and kissing and tickling and helping Roni to forget the really bad dream she didn't want to discuss with me. She finally brightened and did tell me of another dream she'd had a week ago. Yeah, the one where Mommy and Daddy were together and happy. i truly feel that this child has all the makings of a practiced mercenary ~ she can cut your heart out and feed it to you with a sweet innocent smile on her face. i really thought she'd dropped this but i guess not.
Last night went quite well! Crackbaby found us in the very same McDonald Playplace i had previously spent five hours straight in ~ i was yelling Roni down from the top of the playplace for making another little girl cry for being 'different'. i finished reprimanding her by the time Rizzn got in there and sat down at the little table i had been hiding at. They are charming and lovely . . . for consultants! NaomiBeth rounded out the table in her own time and the guys got to meet out darlings. The only bad part of the whole night was that i had finally become fed up with the allergies and taken a new antihistimine that didn't agree with me at all. i ended up shaking, jumpy with a fantastic headache and an excessive thirst and a subsequent need to run to the back frequently . . . but it turned out fine. We had a wonderful evening of great conversation with highlights such as Naomi telling me that she didn't understand my tongue peircing and i responded that i just HAVE to have SOMETHING in my mouth to play with and she tells me to "Get a MAN, not a tongue peircing!"
Why does my self worth have to hinge on having a man? i still don't have one, need one, or want one. Not right now. Anyways, i have tried my damndest to remain as plain and unattractive to men as possible . . . some would say i took it a bit too far, but oh, well. i am me and i make no excuses for it. And the last guy i was . . . um . . . intimate . . . with was a HUGE mistake and dangerous and he stalked me until i turned off my phone and moved to my parents house for a week and a half. He kept telling me he loved me and wanted to marry me and take me back to his country. It was scary, i tell you. The whole story of how is better written elsewhere as i do not want to divulge it to some people i know read this. This may just be one of the very few things i WON'T put here but e-mail me if you must know more than you really should about why i am so screwed up when it comes to love and sex ~ i warn you ~ it's not a pretty story.
On to happier notes! Toaster Boy and i ventured forth to Target today to return my two duplicate CDs and i couldn't find the HED P.E. Broke CD i wanted, but i decided to go ahead and get the BLOODHOUNDGANG Hooray for Boobies! and just not let Roni listen to it per her father's request. Oh, well, girls listen up here, i am imparting a small bit of wisdom i paid dearly for ~ NEVER MARRY A RED-NECK COWBOY! They are just not a good idea if you have any aspirations of being a human and a woman. Or if you simply have aspirations. At least in my experience.
ok, well, i just found a song on this CD that will make Naomi ill and me laugh and give you a taste of the most wonderful and amusing BLOODHOUNDGANG i love . . . just be glad i had enough taste to not use "The Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying". Santiago is right ~ that song is just the best!
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Yummy down on yummy down on this down on Yummy down on yummy down on this down on Yummy down on yummy down on this down on Yummy down on yummy down on this down on Ouch it won�t reach my mouth If I could do it myself I�d probably never leave the house But I can�t so here�s where you come in Giving it "Diff�rent Strokes" just like Arnold Drummond Hummin� hmm hmm good like Campbell�s And you�ll handle the sack like the quarterback Randall Cunningham like Joanie loves Chachi They call him Ralph Mouth �cause he�s down on Potsie Rocky chasing the chicken Watch the plot thicken with the cock when your lickin� Me like Apollo your Creed my Mission You go down for the count I countdown ignition Blast off you�re a rocket scientist A genius what I mean is you suck at this So escargot �cause my snail needs Frenchin� You must be five stars cause my staff�s at full attention Yummy down on this down on this down on this Yummy down on this down on this down on this Yummy down on this down on this down on this Yummy down on this down on this down on this Yummy down on yummy down on this down on Yummy down on yummy down on this down on Yummy down on yummy down on this down on Yummy down on yummy down on this down on Dinner for one I know you got your reservations Starvation like a Third World Nation So do it for the children and I�ll make a donation My fly�s in your eyes let me rise to the occasion In my Underoos I tend to be brief So when you�re sinking your teeth deep into my beef You can fondle but it�s kind of like McDonald�s realize it�s Just a Happy Meal so you can�t Super Size it Told to hold the pickle then you went and blew it Gherkin off and the Special Sauce comes included But you knew it did so concentrate like Tropicana To eat a Chiquita you need to grow the banana So can ya Bob like Dylan on my Peter like Criss �Til it�s Chubby like Checker c�mon baby do the twist It�s all in the wrist like table tennis So beat me like Betty Crocker cake mix Yummy down on this down on this down on this Yummy down on this down on this down on this Yummy down on this down on this down on this Yummy down on this down on this down on this Suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it Suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it Suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it Suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it If you were a Hindu I could aim for the dot Yummy down on this Yummy down on this Yummy down on this throbbing pole of hot man chicken. And feel free to wiggledunk those purple bulldog cheeks.
"Yummy Down On This" by the endlessly funny BLOODHOUNDGANG
confessed on 2000-12-29