hello. i had a wonderful evening last night but it sorta ended badly. i wound up with a wounded friend in shock on crashed on Roni's bed.
i have come to the conclusion that i will need to write elsewhere for a while. Look for some new stories on eNvAsIoN! and some more of my personal work to show up. i have so much and i need to put some more out there anyways. i am still working on the whole story of me from start to finish and you can still e-mail me for the link when i am done. i just can't write here for a bit as i am right now very angry about a situation i am trapped in and it is not wise for me to speak out when i am angry. Especially since i tend to say things i don't really mean long term, but i really wish i meant right then. i can be quite petty and my only defence is to bite my tongue and shut down and not say or do anything. Unfortunatly, this leaves me with a rage inside me that turns further and further inward until i do something stupid to let it out by hurting myself for being dumb enough to really care and end up screwed.
So, if you have my AIM, i will be on as often as possible and would love to chat. If you don't have my AIM and you want to know how i am, e-mail me and i will give it to you. i am also on MSN & Yahoo, so don't feel the need to sign up for a new account for me. As if anyone will actually care. Who am i kidding. My readers are silent and voyeuristic. They just use me without love. *sniff!* i feel so dirty! well, humor with out my heart in it is just sucking so i will not try to be funny again today. i must go, my darlings, as my head is on fire and i can't put it out.
Russ invited me to the Bronco Bowl tonight. He is working the show. i think i may just go.
just go listen to something good and preferably electronic. something fast and angry. something that rips the heart outta your chest and plays with it. don't look at me ~ go ask Crackbaby. He is the DJ.
confessed on 2001-01-06