i took NyQuill last night and got a bit fuzzy in the head . . . and decided to get up early. So i set my alarm for 4:55. Did i go all the way around and make it AM you ask? Nope. Now my alarm will go off at 4:55 PM and no one will be there to turn it off. i actually woke up at 8AM and jumped up, ran around getting me and Roni dressed and out the door. i helped her with her homework in the truck on the way to school, signed her in, walked her to PE, and then got here an hour late. Oh, why, oh, why do some days just start out like this? i am groggy with sleep and the adreniline rush has worn off and the air i'm breathing is cold and hurts.
whine whine whine and bitch. ok, i'm done.
This last week, part of my past came back to say, "Hey, i didn't give you much of a chance, did i? i'm SORRY! What was YOU'RE problem back then?" Wow! i never thought i'd see the day, but i'm glad. She is an 'assertive' (hehehe!) but sweet little doll-baby that married one of my good friends and we sort of danced circles around each other for years trying to second guess what the other's motives and thoughts were and effectivly cutting me off from a guy i love dearly and really respect. i had really never thought about it in this way, but i was a jealously posessive bitch back then! All my friends were guys and i didn't like ANY girl coming in a taking them away. She was apparently too much like me in some ways and neither of us had ever seen a similer critter before . . . it was kind ugly. i am so glad we both grew up and stuff. i think i like her. she is good peoples.
"on your back, thrown down, tied up, leather bound, chained down . . . i want you, i need you, everyway, every day, i must have you . . . slap, slap, your nails in my back, i'm screaming down on my knees but i'm begging for more . . . love your fears, love your tears, love your flesh, love your breath, feast on your neck now . . ."
what little that is understandable from
Writhe by Push on the TIAMP CD "Tactics of Infiltration"
if you ever see this CD, get it. There are so few out there and the bands are no longer affiliated. This was locally produced in the D/FW metroplex in Texas, but the way music travels . . . i have acually partied with almost every band on here and Russ was one of the ones who did the most work on it, so it is personal for me, but the music is good.
confessed on 2001-01-23