Friday night was not exactly the best but then it got better.
- I finally came down from my muscle relaxer and cleared up long enough to find out that the heart attack my Gramma had was worse than she thought and they had to do a few surgeries on her, but she'll be fine. My Mom flew up to Idaho to take care of her and i had to find someone at the last minute to keep Roni on Sunday while i work. i had to break down and call Darth Mom and so Roni is being exposed to religion this fine morning.
- She is so excited and i'm wondering what grand new lesson she will try to teach me tonight. The last time she and i got into a religious discussion i turned her around and we discussed Karma. Now, she thinks "God gave me chicken pox because i was behaving so badly, didn't God?" Per our discussion, i had to concede the possibility even as i explained that, in the sequel, God didn't really act that way, but that in the original, there was a bit of that action going on. Then i told her to talk to her Gramma or Grandmother about it. i don't know . . . i have so many issues with organized, homogenized, homophobic religion that i am by no means the right person to ask these questions of. According to their rules i'm going to Hell without passing Go or collecting my $200, so how can i smile and eat that shit? Whatever. My sister is now gonna yell at me, i'm sure, as i probably just insulted her opinions somehow.
Next, i found out than my favorite cousin was just diagnosed with MS. This was harder than religion and my Gramma Jane's mortality put together. Viv was the original redhead. i idolized her as a kid. i wanted to be just like her. i wanted to crawl into her skin and BE her. i even had a small early adolescent crush on her at one time, but that's normal for an idol. She has survived being the never-perfect eldest child and permanent scapegoat in an mildly abusive family with three daughters, an abusive marriage, her weight tripling then finally losing it all and becoming a size 10 again, and there is probably so much more she has never told me. She has always been my favorite cousin and i found out i was her favorite, too! Neither of us fit in with and are both constantly confusing the hell out of our families. Why does this have to happen to her? She's paid all she's got in advance, so why can't she have a simple and fun life for a while? This sucks.
i went home to put Roni to bed and crash, but on my way in, i ran into my friend Nathan, so i took him by Sonic and brought him to my apartment and we went through my CDs and listened to some of them as he just finished DJ school and needs to know what is out there . . .then we watched Being John Malkovitch. i have to say, if i was a fan before, i am now obsessed. Why do i have this unholy fascination with John? i would stalk him, dammit! i would even give up Angelina (i can't breathe!! i can't breathe!) for him! i have problems. My idea of manly perfection is an antisocial, psychotic, strangely beautiful, excessively talented FREAK! No small wonder i'll be permanently single is it? And i loved the movie! i love that they end up together in the end! i was hating that bitch until the last few scenes . . .
So, after staying up `til 3 am, Roni wants me to wake up at 10 . . . i managed to stretch it to 11 and then we went shopping. i picked up some fun stuff at Sam's and then found Roni some Hello Kitty sandals and a matching shirt for her being pretty good last week. NOTE!!!! i did NOT buy a CD this weekend!! Cheer for me!! Please clap and shout "Huzzah!" for me! i am learning some self control! ok, fine. Could you just smile at your screen for a moment and think "Huzzah!" for me??? Thanks. i need the support, guys. This whole 'not buying 3 CDs a week' thing is hard!
Last night was my first meeting with Whether The Weather Prod and it was a lot of fun! i am stil thinking on the whole thing, though. i love these guys but what do i know about making movies? i declined a salary last night. i don't want to think about it, yet. i will learn and soak up all they have to teach me and give them all my ideas and help and when they get rich and famous, then they can kidnap me and force me to work for them. Until then, they need to save the money. We made fettuccini Alfredo and saut�ed mushrooms with a huge salad and French bread. That part was my idea! We really cooked it together in the kitchen and had so much fun! And Greg, who was so obnoxious in high school, is the meaning of 'out' now and so much happier! He was a LOT of fun and we had fun during the meeting passing pretend love notes back and forth . . . he started it with "Misi + Greg = 4 ever!" so i drew two little red hearts intertwined and he wrote "will you be my girl friend? check one! O Yes O No" and i whispered that he forgot 'Maybe' and he whispered back that he didn't like maybe ~ girls always check 'Maybe', but then he put it on there and wrote "please don't pick 'No' or 'Maybe'!" So i put a smiley face in the 'Yes' box and he kissed the paper! i think O.Penguin was surprised that we got along so well! Greg and i were talking about kids and he said he wasted a baby girl one day and i laughed and confessed that i'd always wanted a boy. He claimed boy were too much trouble and i pointed out that girls were too prissy. i told him anytime he wanted to paint toenails and go shopping, he can borrow my child. (i don't remember who it was but there was one female comedian who confessed that all she knows about being a woman, she learned from gay men. It sounded somehow right . . . )
Suzanne Vega ~ "Left of Center"
confessed on 2001-02-25