i ache all over.
Russ and Mary have to be out of his apartment today and so they have to get rid of EVERYTHING before they go on a goodbye circuit for the next week and a half or until the work permits come in so they can leave. So, yeah, i was over there last night until a little late . . . just like Monday night. My apartment is stacked ceiling high with walls of box and i have to go through all of it and decide what to do with it all. Yay. Fun.
i realized that we were so close and spent so much time together that almost everything he has has sentimental value and memories for me . . . most of it was bought by us together as we made his house into a home for the three of us staying there. It feels almost like an amiable breakup! FREAKY!!
And why am i keeping such a young child out so late? Well, she passes out every day at 3:30 pm no matter what i do with her and will sleep through all attempts to wake her including loud music, shaking, talking to her, moving her several times, loud conversation with jumping and squealing and yelling and laughter . . . . we don't even try to keep it down. She wakes about 7-8 or so and still goes to sleep by 10:30 to 12. Go figure.
i have three readers! Abby talks to me about what she sees and Lio Sha is a avid reader for a week of two or until i bore her silly and Chuk comes her to post for no reason since he hearts me, too . . . i guess it makes sense i am just here bitching into space and this is what my diary is here for. It's my little home and place to put the stuff i don't really talk to anyone about so it doesn't matter if i type up huge long entries or ramble insanely. It's MINE. It's cheaper than therapy! Ohh! Hey! i like that! i will rename my diary!
"Darkest Hour" ~ Syphon
"You toss, you turn, you wait for me to bring back my anxiety . . . "
confessed on 2001-04-05