- Justice
- when you get what you deserve
- Mercy
- when you *don't* get what you deserve
- Grace
- when you get what you *don't* deserve
This is on the cover of my projects book i keep on my desk. i re-read it as i was cleaning up my desk to leave yesterday and it stuck with me all night and i fell asleep thinking of it. It just seemed a strangely simple and profound set of definitions and it made me think that the simplest things are usually the most profound and wow, what does that say about me? i really do like things to be simple and straightforward. Not easy, but simple.
Then i noticed just how difficult 'simple' is these days . . . and very expensive! If you want to have natural milk or eggs or organically grown veggies you have to go to a special store and pay a LOT more.
If you get tired of that you have to get your own garden and compost pile and all the trappings for it and read a lot of books to learn how to protect your garden from pests and buy the ladybugs and tools and planks to separate and dirt because, face it, Texas clay grows weeds and weeds alone, and then sand and natural fertilizer and then the plants because you'll never get the rest ready at the right time to plant the seeds and we are American and, as Lio said, into the whole 'instant gratification' thing, and now you have spent all kinds of money and your back hurts and you have lost interest and you significant other is snickering with your best friend behind your back as they skip off to the grocery store for some beer and junk food and you give up and go take a shower, take a nap, get up and proceed to eat the burger from McD's with that nice, fried apple pie and some Coke or beer while planning to put a pool in where the garden is . . .
When i was little i wanted to be Laura Ingolls-Wilder and wear the cool dresses and petticoats and a corset and the cute boots and churn butter, milk cows, ride horses, sew everything myself, bake all the time and live in a dirt-floor house built into a hill. Then i learned to crochet. i was NOT good at it. i moved on to wanting to be a mermaid or a waterbaby and never looked back. That stuff is not easy!
i have no idea what i would do now if i lost my access to computers! i'm sure it would be anti-social, scary to witness and very, very ugly. i feel so warm and snuggly here, in my little cyber home . . . i'd never want to lose it! Even if, at the end of the year, i decide to close this diary, i will likely be writing in one or two others . . . (and on a side note, how many of us out there have more than one diary? i know i do. Nomi said she has an offline one. Malk does. In fact i know several people with three or more!)
Ok, well this was a little scattered but to bring it around full circle . . . go see Stigmata and Instinct. Simplicity often comes at a much higher price than going with the flow of things and accepting the supposed 'progress' but then, there is always one thing that sells you on complicity. For me it would be computers and the seemingly fragile but steel-strong and constantly changing web of communities and people online.
"Healing Hands" ~ Elton John
"i never knew sleep so restless, ohhh, empty arms so cold
that not the way it's supposed to be ~ it ain't the spell i was sold!"
it was hard to pick just one or two line from this one . . .
i love Elton but i don't quote him often as i don't really know anyone else
who loves him and you will all run screaming as i go back
to putting whole songs in again!
this one and "Whispers" (off the same album)
are two of my more contemporary favorites
Sleeping With The Past
confessed on 2001-04-12