i dreamt i saw you walking
up a hillside in the snow
casting shadows on the winter sky
as you stood there counting crows
one for sorrow, two for joy,
three for girls, and four for boys,
five for silver, six for gold, and
seven for a secret never to be told

there's a bird that nests inside you
sleeping underneath your skin
when you open up your wings to speak
i wish you'd let me in

from "a murder of one" ~ counting crows
ENOUGH ALREADY!

All hail literary heroes! i want to say a super-special thank you to some one for e-mailing me . . . it really made me morning, truly. You have no idea how much i love your writings and i didn't think you ever even noticed me over here . . .

And now back to the regularly scheduled programming!

Today is better than yesterday. Not by much since i stayed up a tad late and read not one but two books last night, but it does have the distinction of being the day my divorce is final!

Yes, it is. i re-read and signed the final decree last night and it's being presented this morning and i will be mailed a copy in a few days or weeks.

It's like an 18th or 21st birthday . . . a day one almost expects to wake up and feel different, but when you wake up, it's just a normal day and it seems so surreal in a funny way.

In other news . . .

i got a really pretty ring for Mother's day! When i picked up Roni at school yesterday, she reached into her backpack and pulled out a little white ring box, and i was so surprised! i opened it to find a lovely silver cut-out band with some flowers and two hearts on it. It fits perfectly on my ring finger and i love it so much . . . she was very excited to have given me something like this and was so openly honest that Myste picked it out for her to give, but asked her opinion on it first. Since Myste and i were once pretty good friends, she knew exactly what i'd love and did a great job choosing and explained to Roni that the two hearts were for Roni and Momi, joined forever . . . she was so eager and happy that i almost cried. Then she showed me the card she had made for me that said she thought i was 19 and that my favorite food was burritos, my favorite thing to do was make Roni laugh, my favorite thing was my daughter and that if she could, she would give me a diamond necklace . . . i almost lost it again! i'm 26, i hate burritos, and i think diamonds are cold and ugly, but i didn't tell her . . . she is so great! That girl makes me smile.

Hmmmm . . . i guess the lovely people in my department didn't get the memo on a certain charming gentleman who happens to be a friend of mine. They were staring him down just for visiting me. i really don't want to tell them again, but damn! i don't care what the gossip says or who says they saw what, he is a FRIEND. And i can promise he's not done a quarter, if any, of the shit the gossips say he has without even asking him. Gggrrrr! i guess i have to go talk to them again . . . though, for the life of me, i sometimes don't remember why what they think should matter when the rest of the call center's opinions don't. *sigh & shrug*

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Hooookaaayyyy . . . all i got from them was "But . . . he's a player and he doesn't need to be playing with YOU!" Hmmmm . . . why does it matter to them? What if i WANTED to be played with? What if i STARTED it? What if nothing is going on and we're friends? What if he's really a woman? What if zombies took over the call center and we all died? i can understand nosy, but i'll be damned if i let some one interfere with my life or tell me what to do! i am a big girl, i can break my own heart and everything!

Oh! Wish me luck ~ i'm cooking dinner for my family tonight!

"Forever And Ever, Amen" ~ Randy Travis
"But honey, i don't care, i ain't in love with your hair
and if it all fell out, well, i'd love you anyways . . "
sometimes country is cute and funny and sweet, too!


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confessed on 2001-05-15