Weird. i don't feel busier, but i guess i am.
Since today is Sunday and it's the slowest day at work i can update but i don't know what to say.
So, here i am with some Puncture playing and no a lot else to do, thinking that it's been a while since i updated and if i have any readers left that they might just want to know how i'm doing.
i'm still breathing. i work and i have read several books and watched a few movies and played with my girl and finally got some Chinese food last night that i have been craving for a few weeks now. Roni has been begging to go, too, since she is just as obsessed with Chinese food as i am. (She has an unnatural love of egg drop soup.)
i scheduled an eye appointment for this coming Friday. i really need new contacts and i have not had new glasses in years. i will be acquiring both. Yippy!
i have a new interesting friendly-type person in REAL LIFE and this is a good thing since he has FIRE! (and spunk and get-up . . .) He's always fun to talk to, though i did hear that he asked Jerry, one of the trainers, about me. i don't know what that's all about, but he seems pretty cool. i just wonder what Jerry said to him considering Jerry's joy in life is to embarrass the hell outta me. i know my whole department is still picking on me about that.
Other that that excitement, i have spent as much time as i can with Russ and Mary because they could get word any day now that the work visas are ready and they they'll be gone. It's like a 'time out of reality' situation, when things just flow on and you have fun but you know it could be over any minute with just a phone call. Like the last few weeks of summer before school starts.
He is still trying to convince me to go with them. i'd love to, really. i love him and Mary and i'd love the chance to start over. i'd love the weather ~ rain, snow, rain, fog, rain, sun, rain ~ and i'd be close to the most important man in my life. What more could i want? i will continue to ponder the vague possibility of this dream in the back of my mind. i will let it sit there and knock against other dreams and thoughts, wear against fears and uncertainties, keep company with my imagination and voices . . . see how it fares and if it grows and survives. i will read more on the country and economy. i will dig up the ugly side to see how ugly and look at jobs. i know i will have to visit, at the least. i wonder if the two of them will marry before they go over. they have been living together so long that they are common-law married here, but i don't know if that is recognized over there. i doubt it since it's a Catholic country. But then, i think it's still legal to handfast there, so it's debatable.
My Penguin has left me. He has a new more positive pal to hang out with. i guess i don't blame him. Something about being around him so much was odd. He turns me very introspective and i think and brood too much around him. Not his fault at all but i do think i was getting depressed and depressing. There were other factors involved but it's hard to not care when i have such a caring and empathetic person who knows me way too well asking questions i don't want to answer. He's also been really busy working on all five projects he's got going so it's not like he has a lot of free time right now anyways.
There are some others who faded back since the out-of-college-summer-jobs moved into high gear, and though i miss them all, i understand and i have somehow stayed pretty busy one way of another so that i just don't think about it too much. i am back to picking up any and all work i can and filing in with book after book and movies over dinner with Russ and Mary for relaxation and companionship. He says he has no idea why i put up with him, but truthfully, he makes me laugh and smile and sometimes i don't know why he puts up with me.
That and dancing with Christine have forced me out of my automaton existence on occasion. i don't really want to go to my parents' since Mom had her surgery and can't take a lot of Roni plus Brat is home and we can't take much of each other.
i think the weirdest thing yet has to be that i don't even remember much of what i have done since i updated last Wednesday!
"Pepper" ~ The Butthole Surfers
"You never know just how to look through other people's eyes."
confessed on 2001-06-03