i don't know why but i had no sooner updated than i get pounced on by one O.Penguin. He needed to talk with me and bounce some ideas around. And he needed copies. And he missed me. i told him i was off at four so he could meet me at my place at four-thirty. He was there.
We were both tired and lethargic with the heat and humidity so we never made it out of the apartment. We just plopped down on The Boob� and curled up to play with my poopy animal key chains while we caught up some and talked about W.T.W.. i showed him my new toy ~ the barbell that Myste gave me with the 'door-knocker' loop on it and he was fascinated. He asked me to kiss him again. Then, he quailed and said he'd feel bad since he has an Internet lady friend he will finally get to meet this month. Then the stuffed cow, Ward, told him that it would be no different than a stage kiss since he is just fascinated with the idea of the barbell and all. We dropped the subject and talked about other stuff for a while and i was ready to curl up and sleep (i have both huge trust issues and big problems sleeping ~ he makes me feel safe. It�s been a long time since i felt safe to sleep.) and then he changes his mind again.
Loop = "Wierd"
no loop = "Really neat . . . "
O.Penguin = a very strange bird
Then i did proceed to fall asleep with one of his arms as a pillow and it was nice while it lasted but then i fell off the bed and he had to go and though i was sleepy i couldn't go back to sleep so i went back to work on a whim and checked my mail. (don't ask. i know i'm weird) i guess i just couldn't deal with the echo of empty after he left. Funny, i have no designs on him at all, but he is so comfortable to fall asleep on and when he leaves there is this empty spot with fading warmth that feels so sad.
After i visited here, i went to my parents' to wash my truck but my mom and sister had to waste half an hour being worried about my eating habits. honestly, would you be hungry less then half an hour after drinking a quart of V-8 Berry Blend? Nooooooo. By then, it was 9 p.m., and we were all in shitty moods and i grabbed a book and sat down and read it. i was done at 12:45 and i left.
i was meaning to dye my hair but it was too yucky so i strip-cleaned it again last night and i'll dye tonight. After i wash my truck. Dad has me so paranoid that cops make me nervous ~ i keep expecting them to come confiscate my truck for being dirty.
i lost a macaroni and it slid down my white top leaving a trail of yellow cheese on it this morning during my breakfast. i borrowed Ra's sweater to cover it up.
Ward was talking again last night. i am now truly disturbed that my 'familiar' is a stuffed cow. And i pulled out my cards for the first time in months and they promptly spill out in my truck. Somehow, i know something, somewhere, is having a great laugh over this. Let us never speak of this again.
i had an audix this morning from Liv. She wants to give me a heart attack. She is getting married. This weekend. i'm still reeling from this.
"Stop searching, forever ~ happiness is right next to you."
my fortune at dinner with Russ & Mary.
confessed on 2001-06-04