i dreamt i saw you walking
up a hillside in the snow
casting shadows on the winter sky
as you stood there counting crows
one for sorrow, two for joy,
three for girls, and four for boys,
five for silver, six for gold, and
seven for a secret never to be told

there's a bird that nests inside you
sleeping underneath your skin
when you open up your wings to speak
i wish you'd let me in

from "a murder of one" ~ counting crows
mumbling about everything

"And she listens like her head's on fire ~ like she wants to believe in me"
Sunday was a nice day over all. i had a friend at work to keep boredom at bay AND offer conversation and even lament the Supersonic Butt Dart with me. Gotta love friends, old and new! i have a feeling this one is a treasure.

"i've never been so colorfully see-through head before"
i get to see Sarah and Josh this week! i talked to my darling pretty lady yesterday and she was all wounded and having a shitty day and i sent her copious amounts of love and reminded her that i will be there this week and she will have me for a few days! i am still surprised on occasion that i have not one but several female friends . . . it's so hard for me to find women i like enough to keep and i miss her so much i am driving ALONE for 4 hours to a place i have never been! Oh! My heart is shining with glee and anticipation!

"Don't go home, don't go away, don't let this end, please stay . . ."
Friday was the last day of the original six week waiting period for Russ & Mary . . . they should hear about their work visas in the next week. i have eaten up every possible second with them in this waiting game. i tell them so often how much i love them and have even sat there, staring at them to memorize every little detail. i hate to 'need' specific personages . . . i despise the weakness and the dependency i feel when i need someone, but i need him. He is my best friend. i would never have imagined that i would be so sure of anyone's love and devotion and not be in love with them. i never thought i could love this much.

"It's just rain, i smiled, brushing my tears away . . . "
i can be a big girl and let them go, though. i can't lose them. He's not like any other and i am calm under the frantic turmoil. Where he is IS home. i will go home to visit them when i can and it will all work out with a little faith. i can make it so.

"i wish i could just stop . . . i know another moment will break my heart."
anyone want to travel far away from here and see the world and live life like there is no tomorrow? It�s simple . . . sign up as MY best friend! *sniff!*

i love The Cure.

"Letter to Elise" ~ The Cure
"Like throwing faces at the sky, like throwing arms `round yesterday i stood and stared wide-eyed in front of you and the face i saw looked back the way i wanted to but i just can't hold my tears away the way you do . . . "
nothing ever happens the way you think it should but where's the fun in that?


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confessed on 2001-06-18