i need Counting Crows. Desperately. Gobs and gobs of them. i have been in a weird musical mood lately. i have craved my lovely angsty mellow tragic boys like Matchbox 20, Train, Jackson Browne and, yes, Counting Crows. The only problem is that i only have one song by these boys and it's "Anna Begins" (thanks, Liv!) and i love it but i will likely be shot if i set it on repeat again at work. The rest of them i have on CD and that is quite bueno.
i have played both the MB20 CDs and Anna began twice and we have moved on to Train so Jackson is next or maybe the Eagles instead since i only have Late For the Sky and that's my depressed/commiseration music.
And i'm not depressed. i'm very deeply happy. And angry, too, but that is an entirely different matter revolving around my credibility at work and the psychotic backstabbing bitch who has started trying to destroy it. Stupid girls who thing they need to be all manipulative and evil to get things done just piss me off. i can be very diplomatic and genteel but i prefer to tell things straight in simple words so the idiots i work with can understand me. i can manipulate people but it makes me sick to do it and i don't like feeling sick. i don't like guilt and i feel it for the dumbest things as it is.
And i miss my baby girl today. i am supposed to go to a party and get really drunk and do table dances on Saturday per Farmer Crusty but i get to see my girl this weekend and i don't know what to do. The party is not until 7 and i'm sure i can come a little late and i tried to get in touch with Myste early last week to work out a swap or something but i didn't catch her in time and then i had plans and . . . oh, i don't know. i wanted my orange and to eat it, too. So i may be a bad mom. for wanting to go to a night of drunken debauchery this Saturday, too.
i have a Dr Appointment tomorrow to find out why everything i eat makes me sick this week. i think it's stress and i have to resolve a few things so i can relieve the stress but this is also a good time to have him tell me what he thinks about my back and decide the plan of action on weight loss and breast reduction.
- The plan is thus:
- i have to lose some boob to take pressure off my lower back.
i have to lose weight before they will reduce the boobs
i have lost a lot of weight so far but that was due to stress and not eating and being sick all the time
i'm tired of being sick all the time and my weight may have stabilized.
So, i go to Dr. George and bug him. Tomorrow. And take a half-day to do it. i leave work at 11:30. i will miss my Angelic one . . . . *sniff!* Even more than today!
"Fuck Off" ~ Kid Rock
"FUCK OFF!"
i'd say it's a pretty clear message . . .
confessed on 2001-07-10