Well, as a stress relief i went home and cleaned. Windex needs to make something with bleach. i love Windex and i love bleach, so there should be Windex Bleach. Because i said so.

i want to replace my coffee table. It's ugly. i really want an entertainment center in oak, but i know i'm dreaming. i want the futon to be in oak, too. Hell, i'd love to live in the middle of nowhere. As long as 'nowhere' was close to a grocer and a Wal-Mart and all the fast food i like . . . i know. My Blonde roots are showing.

i am working out the stress. i cleaned and scrubbed and trashed and re-organized ruthlessly until i was exhausted and sore and then i did sit-ups until my stomach was sore instead of my back and then showered and slept like a baby on the so-hard-it-bruises-your-kidneys futon. i replaced the bright bulbs i had left over from the house with purple party bulbs that really work better for my eyes. i like my cold, dim little cavern. It's comfortable and soothing. It kinda wraps its arms around you and holds you like a sleeping baby. Now, i am taking my half back for ME.

i have not ever been this happy while being this stressed out that i can remember. i stop constantly to just grin and sigh. This is so very strange for me. It's like a wonderful film of happiness and satisfaction laying over 'normal'. Is this what 'healthy and adjusted' feels like? i could definatly get used to this!

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"i don't want to get to the end of my life and find that i lived just the length of it.
i want to have lived the width of it as well."
~ Diane Ackerman (b. 1948) American poet and writer

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confessed on 2001-07-12