one for sorrow, two for joy . . .

"cuz when i look around i think this, this is good enough, and i try to laugh at whatever life brings"

i am awake at 8:46 am and i can't go back to sleep. i'm here updating and listening to Ani DiFranco because i'm in love with the heart and soul she puts into her music. i just can't get enough of her. She is all fire, and ice and passion for now and i love it.

"cuz when i look down i just miss all the good stuff, when i look up i just trip over things"

i love my baby. He's so cute when he's sleeping. i just want to kiss him all over just to see him but i don't want to wake him up since it's hard for him to sleep in. Some kind of crazy internal clock of his gets him up at 7 am, 8 am at the latest, but he's so exhasted right now, he's still sleeping. It's almost a miracle, so i am loath to disturb it.

"cradling the softest, warmest part of you in my hand, feels like a little baby bird fallen from the nest"

Roni was a little shaken by Rosy last night and woke up with bad dreams, but i was still up so i sat with her and explained snakes to her better so she would know WHY Rosy was checking her out. And to affirm that she is WAY too big for Rosy to eat, so she was just looking for a calm, warm person to be friends with. Then Roni felt better and went back to sleep; she woke up in a good mood, too, so i guess it's all ok.

"'cuz they can call me crazy if i fail; all the chance that i need is one-in-a-million, and they can call me brilliant if i succeed"

i think i'll clean some when the boys wake up, but it may be after i get back from lunch with my Penguin and his girl. There is good drama there and they are happy as frogs in a shady pond in spring and . . . WTF?!?! when did i turn into the old guy from Pure Country?!?!??!!

"gravity is nothing to me, moving at the speed of sound . . . i'm just going to get my feet wet until i drown"

It's been too long since i did a good musically driven entry . . . i was looking on VH1 to try to find a copy of the 'Crossroads' that they did with Melissa Etheridge because i saw it a long time ago and i have wanted it since because the songs were amazing, but i can't find it. i may have to venture into Ebay but somehow, i don't think that would be a good idea . . . i'm not broke, i have checks! Just kidding, really i am. Truly. Well, until the subject of music comes up, at least . . .

"i built my own empire out of car tires and chicken wire and i'm queen of my own compost heap, and i'm getting used to the smell"

i think i'll go take a shower. i think i might stink, but i'm not sure because all i can smell is animals . . . i need to air my house out, but it has to stop raining first. If you have stuffy and smelly and you air it out when it's rainy and humid, you will only set in the awful smell you want to get rid of.

"i'm going to go ahead boldly because a little bird told me that jumping is easy, that falling is fun up until you hit the sidewalk, shivering, stunned"

The funniest thing just happened. A young blonde cutie with braces and her green haired guy friend just knocked on my door at 10am to find out if we wanted to go to Bible study. i mean, GREEN HAIR. As in, crayola colored grass but you can't find it in nature GREEN. It was creepy, i tell you. That and they ruined the whole thing by yelling "FUCK! on the stairs. i told Jian about it since he was sort of awake and we started laughing and cracking jokes like: "hey, where's your suits? Get a bike and maybe we'll listen!" and then we were musing over what happened to our Gay Mormon Duo (long story) and i suggested that they exhausted the radius and had to move because there is only so far you can get on a bike before you have to turn around and go home. Yeah, there's nothing sacred here but music.

"Swan Dive" ~ Ani DiFranco
"and i've got a lack of information
but i got a little revelation
and i'm climbing up on the railing
trying not to look down
i'm going to do my best swan dive
in the shark-infested waters
i'm gonna pull out my tampon
and start splashing around

'cuz i don't care if they eat me alive
i've got better thing to do than survive
i've got a memory of your warm skin in my hand
and i've got a vision of blue sky and dry land"

all quotes here are from
Ani's songs Swan Dive and As Is

confessed on Wednesday, Mar. 20, 2002