This sucks big time.
i was a irritating and pissy bitch this afternoon while i burned pancakes, carbonized bacon and turned out some underdone eggs for dinner. No real reason why, just suddenly in a shitty mood. Now, i feel really awful because it scared Snookems, the pool boy away and i really didn't mean to take it out on him. He's home now and locked in his room sleeping.
Angel and i talked about my attitude and i apologized to him and then we curled up together for a while. Two hours later, i made his crappy day all better and he dropped off to sleep with a huge grin on his face while i dozed off beside him. Then i woke up at 11:34 and i can't get back to sleep.
i haven't really been sleeping all that well, lately, and i'm not sure why. There was a weird dream last night.
i was some kind of psychic and no one listened to me so we were running from some vampires that took over a whole town. We were taking care of all the survivors that we found, too. People i know in REAL life were there as well as people i only know online, and people i have never met in any fashion. All we had to kill them with was plywood sheets that we were breaking off into spiky-like strips and a holy chick who could bless them to death. She was really busy since that plywood trick was not doing too well. (but it was funny to watch in my dream!)
Eventually, i got tired of everyone ignoring me and doing the exact opposite of what i told them so i went off on my own and ran into more people i knew who knew each other in my dream but have never met in real life. That's when it started winding down and getting really weird at the same time. In my dreams, the dead stay dead unless they WANT to bring them over so almost all the people i was with died because they just wouldn't listen to me and stayed, tried to hide, tried to fight. i, on the other hand, just left. i didn't stop, look back, try to save anyone else, or investigate what i ran over. i just kept going and lived. Only Andy and a few Internet people were smart enough to follow me.
The saddest part was that if anyone had listened just once, we would never have met up with the vampires. We were visiting a friend who wasn't even home in a town far far away from where we lived.
Oh, well. i think it was a huge message about the futility of me trying to do anything in real life as it is rarely noticed or appreciated.
But don't think i'm cynical much, just ask my boys if anything i do really matters to anyone but the three of us here. Doesn't slow me down too much, though, i like having something to do.
"Donny Darco"
"Why are you wearing that stupid bunny suit?" asked Donnie.
"Why are you wearing that stupid MAN suit?" replied The Bunny.
confessed on Saturday, Mar. 30, 2002