Today i got a compliment that is stunning and sweet. But enough about me, let's talk about . . . me!
Last night was sucky. Nothing went quite right. i came home and wanted to collapse but didn't. i don't know why, but i was beat. i took Joey to work and came back to play pool for a few to relax and recover. Roni got a smiley face and we let her choose where to have the dinner that we so desperately did not want to cook. Chinese. She chose Chinese. i love it, but it make Angel sick sick sick. Oh, well, he was a good sport and went with us.
After dinner was the sucky part. i played around online after Roni went to bed since Angel was watching WWF and i hate that crap. Later, i learn he was watching it because i was on the computer. All the wile i was bummed that he chose a bunch of televised glistening idiots over me . . . by then it was too late as i could hardly keep my eyes open and he had to wait up for Joey to call for a ride.
When he finally got to bed i was gooooone. Again. This schedule sucks so very very much. i have a wonderful man and rarely ever get him alone and focused on me. So i'm a needy brat already, after only three weeks . . . it's killing me!
Today was long, hot, sweaty, exhausting and not nearly as much fun as it sounds . . . there were laughs a plenty all day long, but when they are in the context of work, the life gets sucked out of them in retrospect. As opposed to voluntarily meeting over, say . . . drinks! And making fun of people and being tacky with a buzz! Yeah! That would be better!
Over lunch, Sam locked his keys in his car, so after work i took him all the way home and then back (with a few pit stops) so he could get his car open. i called Angel on the way home to ask him to put the dinner in RIGHT THEN so it would be done shortly after i got home since i had to do laundry still. He said ok. He didn't. He was playing Max Payne while Roni sniveled over her gnawing hunger. i blew up because i'm dumb and i had just spent about an hour in traffic and my brain was numb, but he'd been home all day. i didn't even mind that he didn't do the laundry he'd promised me he'd do. He was right ~ i'd probably kill him if he shrank any of my clothes. He's still smarting from the unmentionable favorite skirt shrinking incident. The one i can't talk about anymore.
Anyways, i feel bad now. It was understandable on one hand, but then, i'm ME. i shouldn't snap at people or yell like that. i'm not like other women. The ones that men hate. The few that men think are 'typical'. i really am not. But i acted like one. And i felt mean. i still do. He cooked the thing he likes and we ate and then he left to do the laundry after all and after many specific instructions that i'm sure he's forgotten by now.
Damn, i love him. He still wanted a kiss goodbye after i'd been all bitchy. He still loves me when i'm dumb. i am so lucky i think i'll go cry now.
with happiness.
confessed on Tuesday, Apr. 23, 2002