It's been a while . . . not a lot to comment on still.
Russ and Mary broke up and so we have spent a lot of time with him and now they are trying to work things out, but she is working two jobs to pay her car and apartment, etc. She seems to just need some time and space to sort out her past and file it away, while working on who she really is NOW. He seems to understand on some levels but then still wants to tell her what to do on others. i guess the patterns established in their relationship have trapped them in this insane circle of button pushing, name calling, and finger pointing when really they both just want to be happy and together. most of my spare time has been spent listening to Russ go round and round but never SEE or truly GET what is going on. When i have seen Mary, she is fine and doing great until she is in his presence, then they start over again and end up fighting until she walks.
i think they make each other a little crazy and don't know how to break that cycle.
My relationship, on the other hand, is great. i feel at home in my Angel's arms no matter where we are. My love for him is passionate but not consuming, tender yet fierce, and fills be to bursting with happiness on a daily basis. He doesn't MAKE me happy, he doesn't expect me to MAKE him happy . . . we simply find joy in even the simple things like holding hands and just looking at each other. i never knew it could be like this. i never knew how wonderful love could be. i am the luckiest woman alive.
Roni is doing great and school will start soon. We are moving her to the school right by home and taking care of her ourselves with just a little afternoon help from our neighbor, Gloria, who has a little girl, Melissa, that is Roni's 'Best Friend'. They live right down stairs from us and we trade off. Melissa likes to go places with us and Roni enjoys having a portable friend, so we try to include her often. In fact, Angel is taking the girls to the Dallas World Aquarium tomorrow! He and i went a few weeks ago and had the greatest time wandering around Dallas afterwards that i think we will try to see what Fort Worth has to offer the next time we're both off on the same day!
Speaking of work, the job is still cruising along well for me. i'm not thrilled with the shift bid results, but after the layoff, who would REALLY complain about having a good job? Not me!
Well, i'm out . . . i think i'll go rearrange and clean some more as that has been my ongoing project for the last week or so. Roni now has a 'Big Girl' room, my room has a new five shelf book case, the floors have never been cleaner and there are pictures on the walls . . . i think i need professional help, but i'll wait until the apartment is done before seeking it!
confessed on Monday, Jul. 22, 2002