i dreamt i saw you walking
up a hillside in the snow
casting shadows on the winter sky
as you stood there counting crows
one for sorrow, two for joy,
three for girls, and four for boys,
five for silver, six for gold, and
seven for a secret never to be told

there's a bird that nests inside you
sleeping underneath your skin
when you open up your wings to speak
i wish you'd let me in

from "a murder of one" ~ counting crows
he misses me, too

i miss my best friend. i looked so hard for someone to be my buddy, my partner in crime, my muse; someone to inspire and lift as they inspired and lifted me. i needed so much to find that person that i neglected to see him right in front of me. now he's gone - so far away and i feel cut loose from my moorings and adrift in hostile waters.
i know this all sounds stupid and sappy. i know. i am working hard on getting over losing my lover but not having my best friend here by my side hurts most of all. i'd give anything right now to hear his heart beating in my ear as he starts to snore.
i try to tell myself that i should be able to lean on any friend, let them hold me up for a minute, but i just can't seem to.
today is a sad day. and i was goaded into taking a shot. maybe that wasn't a good idea because i'm already crying and now i want another.

"Well I'm so far away
That each step that I take is on my way home
A king's ransom in dimes I'd given each night
Just to see through this payphone
Still I run out of time
Or it's hard to get through
Till the bird on the wire flies me back to you
I'll just close my eyes and whisper,
Baby blind love is true

I want to lay you down in a bed of roses
For tonite I sleep on a bed of nails
I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is
And lay you down on a bed of roses
"
"Bed of Roses" - Bon Jovi


2 thousand thorns will prick and pierce

confessed on Monday, Jul. 23, 2007