i dreamt i saw you walking
up a hillside in the snow
casting shadows on the winter sky
as you stood there counting crows
one for sorrow, two for joy,
three for girls, and four for boys,
five for silver, six for gold, and
seven for a secret never to be told

there's a bird that nests inside you
sleeping underneath your skin
when you open up your wings to speak
i wish you'd let me in

from "a murder of one" ~ counting crows
On an iceberg, with a squaw, in a gust of chickens, off the coast of Cuba!

sorry so late on the update - it's been crazy around here too long, we are trying a little sanity now and it tastes like chicken.

fajita chicken.

fajita chicken covered with cheese and sour cream and caramelized onions and wrapped in a tortilla and eaten yum yum!

The Bad Boy has come back to himself and to me. it won't be easy but due to some extenuating circumstances we are working to put humpty back together again.

some things fell right in line and were easy as hell - the fact that we're both still in love, can't imagine wanting anyone else, love, like, and yes, even need each other gives us a reason to fight for 'us'.

The Ronica is a big concern. when we were together she felt like it was to the exclusion of her. we have to find a balance.

other things that must be done -

  1. finish lease out (December)

  2. see a doc and have a full shrink report done. look into chem levels and stress assessment.

  3. find a stress reducing activity and jump on it.

  4. spend time alone at the new digs, getting closer to his self, comfortable in his own skin.

  5. come up with at least one goal that has nothing to do with us. pursue it wholeheartedly.

  6. learn to accept love, help, favors, a partner in life.

  7. prove to us that he wants to be here - don't tell us, SHOW us.

in the mean time, the healing is begun. i kept him right by my side for 34 hours straight. i hardly slept, i was afraid to close my eyes. we talked, shopped, played a game or two, talked, goofed with Ronica, snuggled, dozed, talked some more.

he is working the night shift at Denny's so i can't have him here every night but that should help enforce the living at his own place thing, though i made it clear that he is welcome to come over any time. just the stay-overs will be limited for a while. we need to start slow while understanding that the barn door is wide open and the horse has worn a path through that doorway.

i'm a little scared, mixed up, giddy, cautions, thrilled, but mostly i feel good. like home is within reach again, hope exists.

and i have new PJs with Oscar the Grouch on them! they have "i HATE MORNINGS" printed on my butt so i take great joy in springing random Cameron Diaz moments on The Ronica. woo-hoooo!


2 girls secretly love to shake that ass!

confessed on Thursday, Sept. 04, 2003