you people are just lucky i'm not some kinda sensitive slob that would totally spaz out and retreat into my little shell and never come out because i made some kind of massive change and no one noticed and everyone just kept walking by and ignored me and i broke down and cried to the turtle, "WHY!?!? Why do they all haaaaaate meeeee?! i just wanted their looooove! i only needed their admiraaaaaaation! i would have been happy to settle for their worshipping at my feet and serving me peaches and maraschino cherries from porcelain dishes painted like little leopards!" and then the gekko came along and commiserated about how he has the same problem and all the meerkats just chased him out of the kitchen with drill presses and by then Charlie Sheen asked me how i was doing and i cried some more because i don't like ladles so since i'm not a Philipino i'll just have to be a duck and waddle instead of running and i guess i should give the snowman back his Brandy because Santa sleeps with the fishies.

i have proof.

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confessed on Sunday, Feb. 09, 2003