i dreamt i saw you walking
up a hillside in the snow
casting shadows on the winter sky
as you stood there counting crows
one for sorrow, two for joy,
three for girls, and four for boys,
five for silver, six for gold, and
seven for a secret never to be told

there's a bird that nests inside you
sleeping underneath your skin
when you open up your wings to speak
i wish you'd let me in

from "a murder of one" ~ counting crows
"So you wanted to take a break - slow it down some and have some space"

today i worked out extra hard. i am excited about Joey coming to visit in a few weeks and then coming home in January. i want to be comfortable going out and dancing and being in public . . . i want to be happy and have fun.

see, i think the ex wasn't all that fond of Joey on account of the laughing. Joey always makes me laugh. not just a "ha haa ha!" or a "HA HA HAAAA!". not even a "HAHAAAAA HAHAAA HaHa HAHAAAAAAA ha haa ha HAHAAA HAAAHAA HAA HA AHHHhhhhh!" Joey easily makes me have to work HARD not to pee my pants! and it sounds different. at the same time, i love Joey to bits, and we flirt a LOT and stuff, but i'm not going to get involved. that question has already been broached and we both said something along the lines of "i got stuck in the friend zone, but, for the first time in my life, i think i like it!" Joey is a funny guy - he's a radio DJ and HAS to be funny and quick witted. i have fun with him 'cause he's my friend.

now, ex-boy has three emotions - 'showing anger', 'hiding anger' and the five-minute spans of 'i forgot i was angry'. what he doesn't do is funny. i'm not saying that he never made me laugh, 'cause he did, i'm just saying he's not the comedian of the group. he doesn't have to be, he is wonderful enough when he is relaxed and himself.

i guess i just wanted to put down in words how i see the differences between them and how i feel differently about them.

i feel differently about everyone i know.

"Ender Will Save Us All" ~ Dashboard Confessional

"It's just like you to contest
you wear it like a label on your breast
don't you see what this takes of me?
A certain callousness complies
with your charm & in your pride
a hopeful look draped in despise.

i want to give you
whatever you need.
What is it you need?
Is it what i need?
i want to give you
whatever you need.
What is is you need?
Is it within me?

It's hard to explain how i am getting by
on so little from you.
It's hard to believe that i would let myself
get so wrapped in you.
There's got to be something that would
be worthwhile for me to give to you.
We need a connection but you
seem to push me far away from you.

The harder i push the further i fall.
Well you don't mind me being headstrong.
But you don't want to sing along.
Maybe it's trite but i can always be wrong
Try not to be wrong."


0 girls forgot to give me back my black T-shirt

confessed on Tuesday, Jul. 22, 2003