i am the luckiest girl in the world! almost everything negative in my life - the people who were dragging me down and keeping me there - have gone and everything is coming up roses. it's weird because i thought i'd miss him but i don't.
i am having fun with a wonderful new program that is telling me that someone in KENT WASHINTON can't respect my privacy and even though they left and say they hate me, they keep coming back here. i have to wonder why for a second but then, i also have to wonder why care. i mean, i told the cunt i'd not write her name again and the ghost never listened to me in the first place. oh, well.
back to why i'm happy. i have a great job with a big raise, i have the best friends in the world that call me at 9 pm and have a celebration dinner waiting for me at their house followed by Lord of War - one of my favorite movies with one of my favorite actors, and i have gotten in touch with quite a few really awesome people from high school of all places! two guys have admitted to having crushes on me so far and while that was way back when, it's still kinda flattering.
the rest have turned out very intelligent, funny, interesting and very opinionated. we had a lengthy debate on pre-marital sex the other night that was a little tense, but mostly there is fun, laughter and teasing galore.
i have two hot guys available for really awesome phone calls *blush* and the most beautiful woman in the world has visited me recently and that was a night i will never forget!
my ex is finally happy with his life and having a lot of fun - going out, having get togethers and enjoying his friends. he is seriously dating a really great girl and planning on moving away from that house. we're still trying to figure out how to get rid of that damn dog, but at least he's a fly in someone else's ointment, not mine.
Between my times with Mary, The Sean & Alex (who is growing daily!) and Chris, Stacy & Lauren my life is flowing along nicely. i am also making a few friends at work and they totally rock.
i am still losing weight so my Lane Bryant card has been getting a little use - especially with all the interviews - but it all worked out nicely.
a friend of mine observed that i mostly complain and bitch up here and i protested for a sec but then looked twice. they were right. the last year or so was so tense all the time and unhappy that it's no wonder i was relieved more than anything to finally be alone.
i have dug in my heels and decided for good to hang up my dance card. if that was the best relationship i could have, fuck that shit. i don't even begin to need that. i was happy before he came along and i am happy now that he's gone. there were some good times in between but the whole thing was a big lie when you boil it down to bare facts. i was the only one with a real smile.
confessed on Wednesday, Jul. 05, 2006