HAPPINESS AND CRACK! i got Misery caught up! The Tick and i decided to tweak this one a little and call it done, but we are negotiating with our muse on the possibility of a few more stories about different people in the same world. like a few interlocking stories that can stand alone. it's a thought.

Last night (Friday) was weird. i worked all of Friday and when i got out drove to Mary's other place that is NOT her home. (because i take better care of her and her home is here. i'm not codependent. just-don't-ever-leave-me!) i was going over to visit with the kids and meet the Not-a-Boyfriend. she'd picked up The Ronica on her way home already. i get there and find The Ronica playing cards with Mary's Mom, Mary cooking and cleaning with a rare passion, the kids have sequestered themselves in a bedroom to 'study' and N-a-B was absent due to childhood ailments: his kids were sick. Mary served me dinner and it was the most wonderful meal i have ever eaten. i was starving.

After that, her Mom left and The Ronica fell asleep while Mary and i discussed life, love, public school, boys, men, fear, commitment, fear of commitment, and other imponderables. i was trying to explain to her that while i can grasp where she is coming from, and simply feeling like there is no limit to what you will do to see a person happy is scary as hell, it is emotionally suicidal to immediately run from that person. love is almost a written guarantee that you will get hurt, but that doesn't mean you don't love. just go in with your eyes open.

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Sorry, i was feeling emotionally restricted by my bra and my feet were cold. i lost my train of thought while i was covering my personage in my stately Oscar the Grouch PJs and The Ronica's Monkey slippers. hey, i covered it with the black velvety robe . . . .

Back to my thread! Angel had already left the house to go party with some guys from Greenleaf and i sent him alone so he could have a good night because i'm not the life of a party and have been known to sneak off into a back bedroom and . . . read. yes, read a book. this always gives him the impression that i am not enjoying myself but really, i love parties. i chill, watch the people, make random drunk entries in here of the things i overhear as the conversations flow around me and basically quietly enjoy myself. i flirt with my friends and make bad jokes - or worse - puns, and that is cool with me, but he always become weird and won't drink or relax so i just sent him on his way so he'd have a night of revelry without worry. he got back at Eight-Fifteen this morning. he was in a good mood. the bastard drank more than i could fathom and was chipper and cheerful at eight-fucking-fifteen in the damn morning. i love him so much i kinda mumbled about having to run off to work and left. there are mysterious things about him that make me think he's not really human.

Me, on the other hand . . . i got home at ten-thirty and updated. i went to bed at midnight and still i wanted to stare at the ceiling for a few hours this morning . . . through my eyelids with my x-ray vision . . . and not move for a few more hours after that. instead i went to work and it was a very long day today. Angel came to bring me lunch because he finagled a coupon for Popeye's chicken and i swear they will find crack in that seasoning one day because the stuff is addictive! i can give up active smoking and i even gave up my dedicated Mountain Dew regime, but i go into a serious decline without Popeye's chicken. i try to be reasonable - i crumbled up most of the biscuit for the birds . . . i didn't suck on the bones!

when i got out at eight, i came home and found that i don't have any images to work on my latest custom request, only one person likes John Denver, and no one wants frogs. but that's ok because i have two new diaries to read so i sank into them for a while and now it's two thirty and i'm tired. i am pondering eating instant coffee and working straight through but i have a date with Stacey to go walking tomorrow and meet this guy she knew in high school because he was obsessed with her best friend and it kind of creeps her out that he asked to meet her and she doesn't want to go alone. in light of this, i feel my best course of action is one of inaction, namely, i think i'll go crash. i want to make a loaf of dark bread tomorrow before we go walking and i'll need the coffee for that, anyways.

Toodles!

1 candles lit for Pope John Paul II

confessed on Sunday, Apr. 03, 2005