i love to write.
i am chronic depressive and writing keeps me sane.
i won't take my meds so i need to write. i am compelled to. and i love it!
i am a Libra on the cusp of Virgo and born in the year of the tiger. To some, this will make sense. to others, it won't, and i don't think the day and year i was born really means much in the long run, but i totally match the descriptions. Look up the names "melissa" and "jane" and i match those, too. i am very curious as to how people come up with this stuff. i see some really specific descriptives in there that just don't match other people i know, but these weird 'random fact of birth/name/hair color/whatever and what that means about YOU' things always peg me. freaky.
Back to the writing thing ~ i am very open to all sides and very analytical and have a tendency to overdo it so when i put down some angsty-sounding self searching shit i don't put it here for you. This is still my home, it's here for ME. So i can read it and see what a bunch of stupidity it is. Or how i accidentally realized something there and how right it is.
Whatever. This is here for me to sort of talk to you and to myself and to blow off steam and just be. i don't usually do handstands for people in real life and i won't do them here unless i feel like it. And i don't do them on demand, either.
i am a little perverse about some things and i will walk away from someone if i feel used, but i will give the last drop of my blood if i feel you need it. i give more when not asked. When i feel i am needed. When i ask what you need from me. (Yeah, that's me ~ Farmer Crusty's Cartwheeler. Anything to make a friend smile . . . )
Sorry, don't know why i needed to say that but i did. There is this whole D*Land revolution where we are mingling more and meeting more people and it's so much easier to perform to keep them, i guess.
SO DON'T. Don't perform. Don't give a shit if they will delete you from the ring. We all have a diaries for many reasons, but if it's to put your heart in a safe place and spill a little of your soul over when the tears are drowning you or the joy is threatening to wash you away then reclaim your diary! Tell them all to go to 14k dial up at the Library! If they don't like to hear about your cramps and tears along with the juicy details of that date and the wickedly surreal night you almost can't believe then they don't have to read!
If you need support out there, look around and see who is similar to you. Find some one you would like to be more like. Find people who used to be like you. And find some one who just makes you laugh. Read them and see who they read. Surf the profiles a while. If you like something stop by the g-book and say, "hey i like this page, you are pretty cool." or whatever come into your head. Pass on the good and if you don't like it, then move on. Bashing is just cowardly and stupid.
Remember why you are here.
"If I lose the light of the sun, I will write by candlelight, moonlight, no light.
If I lose paper and ink, I will write in blood on forgotten walls.
I will write always.
I will capture nights all over the world and bring them to you."
~ Dino Corvino, Italian Poet
confessed on 2001-04-13