i can't remember what i did after my last update and i can't say how it was all that important right now. As Marn feels the sudden silencing of the thousand of voices, i feel the pain of the millions who are still living.
i am not aware of anyone i know to have been in any of the planes or buildings. That does not comfort all too much. With the way families have spread across the continent, intermingled, changed names, lost contact, or simply isolated themselves or been isolated away from the rest of their family due to human nature to be volatile creatures, there is one guarantee ~ you are related in some fashion to almost all those people. Any one who has ever done the sea monkey experiment has seen the proof that i write of here.
You may have smirked when Star Wars mentioned a "A great disturbance in the Force. It was like a million voices crying out in unison, then suddenly silenced." Well, There really was a great disturbance in our lives and though the explosion is over, the cloud is dissipating and the fires are almost out, the ripples and aftershocks are still rolling through not only our nation, but the whole world. i am not a sappy, sentimental person. i hate tribute songs and 'you're my friend and i love you' e-mails. i delete them after reading the first line and i don't lie about it. i will admit freely that i checked my family and friends and felt a greedy relief that they were not harmed.
That's when i thought of all those people who DIED as husbands, wives, sisters, brothers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends . . . and parents. Do you realize how often you see couples working in the same building? Or office? Do you realize how often our friends are the people we meet at work? How we have our kids play together, go to the same schools, and live in the same neighborhoods? How many of those children were at school when this happened? How many of them were looking at the picture of the twin towers that mommy and daddy showed them before and just not believing or understanding that almost everyone in the first tower is dead? How many children didn't get picked up at school or daycare that day? How many of these babies are waiting for mommy and daddy to come home with a surprise from their vacation or business trip? What do they do now?
Look around you. This whole world is one large home to us all. There are so many people that share this home and never speak or listen to each other. i have lived in a house with a person i never spoke or listened to and it was awful. It caused pain and anger to flourish. Silence and ignorance breed misunderstanding, rage, contempt, hate, and friction that can lead to violence in words and actions. How can all the billions of people be living in this home and not listen to each other? How can you see some one different that you and not wonder why they are that way? If you are wondering, why do you not ask? Why not ask some one about who that are and learn something new? What are we afraid of?
Violence begets more violence, and right now there is a collective scream for retaliation and retribution ~ for vengeance and justice to be done immediately and without mercy. Days of the same devastating footage . . . the interviews . . . the updates . . . the recalling of all the other incidents that led us to this place have made us angry and hurt ~ ready to run out right now and strike down those responsible or any reasonable facsimile thereof.
We cannot do that. We are civilians. Civilians. We have men and women trained to fight for us. They will do that job if it is required of them, but we are not military nor militia ~ militant nor malicious, and should remain as calm as we can while trying to recover from this devastation and repairing what damage we can. We should be here, supporting and mending, farming, working, stabilizing. Do not take matters into your own hands, as you probably do not know what you are doing. As satisfying as it would be to be a great and powerful being capable of picking off all of but only those responsible for this tragedy and squishing their puny little heads between your mighty fingertips so you can wash their tainted brains off your hands and know that you showed them more mercy in this than they showed those people they had call their families to tell them they were going to die or the ones in the buildings they razed . . . but YOU ARE NOT A GREAT AND POWERFUL BEING! And neither am i no matter how long i daydream about it. i can not fix this. If i can come to terms with these facts despite my raging goddess complex, so can you.
Go home and hold your babies. Take your mom some lunch at work and give her a hug. Call up you best friend and say, �You, me, cards, drinking and music. You in?� Grab your significant partner and hold on all night , curled together like kittens. Then spend a day off and go volunteer something of yourself ~ blood, time, money, food ~ whatever you have to give, give it for a day. Pick something you feel is a reflection of you and do it, then, if you are no longer needed, get back to making your life as normal as possible again. Help others do so, too, just don�t forget what happened when the tough decisions come. Remember then, innocent people died �just doing their jobs� at a desk quite like yours in an office they go to every day of the week, just like you. Remember that it could have been you. And remember that the ones behind this, though only men themselves, are men who plotted this out and performed this for maximum damage. They are clever, strong, and ruthless, yet spineless, twisted, and full of blind rage. They cannot be reasoned with nor placated and will not stop. i�d love to see them eradicated ~ a nice big lake where they used to be.
But remember, most of all, that here we are the strong and FREE, and that generations of blood insured that ~ we will not be beaten, we will not be broken, and we will not show the world our ugliness. Leave the fighting to the people delegated to do that duty and honor the dead by being as cooperative as possible and ending the misunderstandings and hate.
" The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives."
~ Albert Schweitzer
"i like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives.
i like to see a man live so that his place will be proud of him."
~ Abraham Lincoln
confessed on 2001-09-15