i dreamt i saw you walking
up a hillside in the snow
casting shadows on the winter sky
as you stood there counting crows
one for sorrow, two for joy,
three for girls, and four for boys,
five for silver, six for gold, and
seven for a secret never to be told

there's a bird that nests inside you
sleeping underneath your skin
when you open up your wings to speak
i wish you'd let me in

from "a murder of one" ~ counting crows
nope, no toilets here . . . .

Today was boring. most people that start at work are trained to use one system to make everything happen. a pretty windows-like program. behind that is another one that we work on in employee accounts more than the other because most of us have been here long enough that we remember what it was like BEFORE the pretty windows-like system showed up. or, some are like me, from the time when we used both as one was brand spankin� new and thus down all the time. i swear, i was in training when we unleashed this thing and then promptly tried to load EVERYONE in it all at once. it was a mess.


The long and short of it is that most of this training is to teach us how to use this older, original system to do our new job functions. this system that we use daily. the one we can train the trainer on. the one we can make sit and bark like a dog. yeah. the only thing we are getting out of this training is a week-long vacation and a day's worth of info on the new account types and rules for setting them up and maintaining them.


But that is mostly fine as this is the last time we'll get to take it easy. as soon as we hit the floor with our new knowledge we will be back to back on the calls to help out the business general line.


In other news, i keep hearing from old friends that i used to work with over at 'that other place'. i would name it but it wont help, they change their names constantly. i am beginning to think i need to go up there and see everyone for lunch. next week.


i am sitting here, smelling the sweet and wonderful smell of egg bread baking. nothing else smells quite like it . . . it's almost time to go and pull it out!


i have a question. is there anyone out there that feels like relationships just really don't make sense? i mean, i love Angel and i'm very much in love with him, but there are times i want to strangle him and i know he is similarly inspired by me. in fact, i�d venture to guess that he owes his life to the fact that i love him as much as i do. i was reading other diaries and thinking on relationships today and wondering what makes us try when it's not right? my marriage fell apart long before we tied the knot, but still we did it. Angel and i have had some really tough times yet here we are, still working, evolving and living together. my Dad broke his bedroom door down last year, but they have been like ham-n-eggs for 28 - 29 years.


i won't say that Angel and i are perfect, we aren't. we aren't even in the same solar system as perfect. there was a lot damaged by his leaving that may not ever be fixed, but there was a lot of make-believe that was uncovered, too. what would you rather do? build a life on some hard times or a really big lie? one may not ever be fixed, but you can build around it. the other . . . it will vanish one day letting all you have built fall apart.


i still think that it was far easier to have no one to answer to and only me to count on. nothing less than an Angel could have made me give that up.


2 people have an opinion on something other than bathrooms

confessed on Monday, Apr. 11, 2005