Ok, i have to put this out here. read if you want. respond if you like. but please be patient with me in my need to expell some demons that have been taunting me:
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Pin the Butterfly ~ IV
The days and weeks are but meaningless fragments strung with
The moments with your Butterfly.
You have yet to break her but your pins are too carefully placed to fail.
You love her and need her submission as you throw yourself
At the clay near her feet that hover, delicately, never lighting for long in one place.
The layers are ever so much more intricate and beautiful
And you are spinning wildly out of control.
You are never sure of what is real and what is the insanity of
Your waking dreams . . . has she started bleeding into you?
Are you infected with her compassion or is she infected with your apathy?
Her laughter is grating on you but you cannot stop from turning towards it.
You have yet to truly own it or to wrest the diamonds from her pretty eyes.
To accomplish this would be the greatest pleasure.
You hold her so close and push her so hard to cloud the wonder
Of all she sees . . . and is.
You pull the clay up to tie her down ~ cover her up as you cut away
The iridescent strands of the web that loosely binds her to the
World she has lived in so far . . . cut away her defenses and defenders.
With the intricacy of a surgeon you pull away one layer at a time even as you
Cover her in mud to hide what she is.
Weaving your spells around her weakened senses, you make her forget
There was ever anyone but you.
You are now her savior as you systematically dig deeper
Ritualistically strip her soul to the naked core for you to hold in your bloody hands.
He cries echo softly in the night as she tries to escape into her dreams . . .
But the dreams she betrayed for you are no longer forgiving
You watch in revulsion as she falls again and again to her knees for you
Praying to you to bring her new dreams, to be the God she saw in you.
In your moment of ecstasy, you stare confused at what you have made of her.
She turns your stomach now as she is heavy with the thoughts you taught her
Crusted with the salt of the many tears torn from her daily, nightly;
Dulled by the muddy water you poured into her mouth of dirt.
She is nothing now as you've broken and crushed her wings
To hold her close and impede her departure.
Even now, in her total degradation, you fear her strength
You never imagined she'd last this long
And you fear she may still leave before you are finished with her.
You have to find the source of her power over you,
How has she hidden this so long?
How does she protect the alabaster purity you have never been able to touch?
What have you done to the thing that you loved?
As ecstasy turns to an excruciating crush in your chest you are unable to scream.
YES, this is an original work so here it is, the thingy:
Any and all poetry found on this page is original and the exclusive property of misijane hibner copywrite 2000.
Please do not reprint without permission.
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confessed on 2000-11-23