Hello, all! WE MADE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! My Company is now (conditionally) 100% COPC Certified!!! (the condidions are that the 4 little bitty things that weren't quite compliant will be fixed within 60 days when they come back to check it and then we are so totally kick-ass and perfect!) We R*O*C*K!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Yes, i gave my pretty site another new look and name, too . . . so what of it?! i really love blue roses so i figured "Why not?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Is it already time for honesty today? "Awww, ma, can't i sleep a little bit longer? PLEASE?!" Guess not. Here we go, boys and girls!
i have discussed relationships (2), religion, Friends (also 2), and foes. i have even thrown out there my views on politics. What you have not heard about is what makes me tic. i'm sure you all have some pretty good ideas and i will take pride in the fact that not many of you will respond to this entry (i am eternally hopeful that i have more than 4 readers and that you post rarely on my board to make sure i read it when you do . . . so just let me dream a little, OK?!) i am a confusing combination of several traits that subsequently leave me vacillating between extremes almost at war with myself. i am very realistic and pessimistic. "Murphy was an optimist." i am also an incurable romantic who will forever believe that after seeing her at the theatre, he will eventually put it all together and find the wheelchair in the bed room becaues that's what love does . . . that somehow, in all of life's disappointments, there is some kind of reckoning to be made and that you will always get what you deserve in the end. "To be 'matter of fact' about the world is to blunder into fantasy... and dull fantasy at that, as the real world is strange and wonderful" ~ both by Robert Anson Heinlein i am diagnosed chronic depressive and should be on medication, but i hate the twilight half life i live under the influence of these correctional drugs so i won't take them. In fact, i quit doing almost any & all "drugs" legal or not. It takes a bona fide migraine to get me to take any pills. i will have a headache every day for the rest of my life. i know this and and accept it as fact even as i really hate it. i read constantly. anything i can get my hands on and that includes cereal boxes, dictonaries, and the back of the toilet paper packaging. i write compulsivly. if i don't i go nuts and the voices i hear in my head start yelling. really. i honestly have voices. They tell me stories and what other people are thinking. (actually, i am very empathetic ~ i feel how you feel, know what you are thinking ~ if i know you) i talk to myself all the time. It helps me think out my problems or just vent. i hear a soundtrack in my head that goes with whatever is happening around me. If i am listening to music, i see a music video (of my own interp). i am very strong in some ways. (i will achieve any goal set for me) i am very weak in other ways. (i need to feel needed and useful) i am a very angry person. it may not seem to be true, but i am, and it's very ugly. i have internalized the vast rage and this has worsened the depressive cycles. i am very loving person; gererous and comforting. i run out and fight battles for others, but rarely stand up for myself. i will cave or walk away in most cases if it just for me. i have very controversial views and love to hear other's, yet i can and will argue any veiw point simply to make others think. i wonder about what stranger think of how i look but wonder what my friends think of me. i am very possesive of my friends. People who do not like me can go away as they don't exist in my life.
i am tired of me right now so i will go work . . . And i want to thank O.Penguin and Tish for your acceptance, love, making room, and a fabulous day. you are both extraordinary.
~{@ ~{@ ~{@ ~{@ ~{@ ~{@ ~{@ ~{@ ~{@ ~{@ ~{@ ~{@ ~{@ ~{@ ~{@ ~{@ ~{@ ~{@ ~{@
All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
I like watchin' the puddles gather rain
And all I can do is just pour some tea for two
and speak my point of view
But it's not sane, It's not sane
I just want some one to say to me
I'll always be there when you wake
Ya know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today
So stay with me and I'll have it made
And I don't understand why I sleep all day
And I start to complain that there's no rain
And all I can do is read a book to stay awake
And it rips my life away, but it's a great escape
escape......escape......escape......
All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
ya don't like my point of view
ya think I'm insane
Its not sane......it's not sane
"No Rain" by Blind Melon
confessed on 2000-11-18 & 19